KADDISH ECHOES #1
Yitgadal v’Yitkadash Magnified and sanctified Enlarged, expanded and made holy Shmei Rabba The Great Name The Grand Name The many names of the One Which one? Whose great name? What does it mean To make a great name Holy, larger? How can I do that? Just by uttering An ancient Aramaic formula That my father my grandfather my great-grandfather my great great-grandfather And his ancestors Uttered over and over? Is that grand? Is that holy? Is that meaningful? Healing Transformative Profound? These words seem to resonate From this world To the world beyond Piercing the veil Of time and space. But what is the Great Name? Who is the Great Name? What is the Profound Hearing? Is it the Nameless One? The Infinite One? That is blessed – yitbarakh praised – v’yishtabakh glorified – v’yitpoar elevated – v’yitromam extolled – v’yitnaseh honored – v’yithallal, and lauded – v’yihaleh. How can I evoke A Name I know not? Am I praising adulating adoring worshipping beautifying elevating and lauding The Holy Name The One beyond any blessings and hymns But which Name? And why? And why not? Not my name Not my father’s name So who is that One Who will bring Abundant peace from Heaven? And when I stand Pronouncing these archaic words Am I really able to evoke Abundant peace Cosmic harmony For all Israel For all the world Do my words have power? Does my grief find consolation in these words? Am I powerless to connect with the realm of the dead? In this time of powerlessness These ancient words Yitgadal, v’Yitkadash I cry out To open my heart To remember your presence To touch your heart In there peace in all the world? Is there peace in my heart? Is there peace between me and my brothers? Between Isaac and Ishmael? Yitgadal, v’Yitkadash Make holy my suffering My longing My sorrow May the Name of the Holy One be present.
THE LAST KADDISH
Eleven months have passed No fanfare No grand ritual moment Barely a whimper And a sigh Followed by the ongoing Perennial question Why did you have to die? Because your time was up And now According to the wise advice Of Rabbi Israel Isserles Who said parents Only get limited not maximum Time in Gehenna Whatever that is Eleven months after we buried you On a freezing cold day Today, with the last Of autumn leaves Making their earthbound descent Today The streaming waves Of the Kaddish channel Go silent My status as a mourner Among the community of Israel Among the community of humanity Changes suddenly And forever more Almost as suddenly As my life changed The day you died And today Like everyday The past eleven months I am a fatherless child I am a son Without a father A little boy Standing alone Without his Daddy I am a man Orienting myself in the world With only a compass of memory and legacy Flying by the seat of his pants Today as I utter these words Yitgadal v’Yitkadash Shmei Rabbah One last time As a mourning child I will praise the Great Name The One that helped me Guided and healed me Throughout these months Of mourning And when I say Yehei shmei rabbah mevorakh L’olam u’lamei almayah I shall look upwards To the supernal worlds Stretching through all time and space And contemplate the mysteries Of life, death, love and loss Once more As I’ve done each and every day Since you died And for a moment There will be a twinge A subtle heart-opening Soul-stirring Mind-meandering Kaddish connecting Moment A momentary passing visit With my father As I praise, adulate Adorn and bless my God Thanking God For Presence For Peace In my life And in the life of all humanity And as the words end Eleven months of Kaddish saying Have passed The Kaddish channel goes silent And I now know I will never be the same Life will have changed forever.KADDISH by Rabbi Geela Rayzel Raphael
In memory of my father, Michael Eliezar Ben Avram Yehuda v’Slovah – Mitchell Lazerous Robinson Chorus: Yitgadal v’yitkadash shmay raba (2x) I integrate your legacy, Treasure your memory What I have learned from you I’m left with your love. Chorus: Yitgadal…… I come to You in grief Walk in humility Grateful you have been with me I lift in your Your love. Chorus: yitgadal…… We rise to praise Your name All our waking days Where you have guided us We walk in Your love. Chorus: Yitgadal…… Create a path for peace to live in harmony for us and all the world Bless us with love. Chorus: Yitgadal……
Audio file of Kaddish by Rabbi Geela Rayzel Raphael